So... I'm still in Istanbul, but tomorrow I'll fly to the U.S. In Istanbul I sent out my CV to New Zealand, then Australia. But unfortunately nobody seems have position opening I've been looking for. I was also contacted by several culinary recruit agents and sent some CV around the world, but again things didn't go as I wish. So I made up my mind to go to the U.S. .... I just don't want to use the word "back". (a bitter smile)
........ There's the quote I like... it is "Penalty kicks are missed only by the ones who are brave enough to take them." It is the quote by Italian soccer player Roberto Baggio after he missed his PK at the world cup final. I think there're many people who wish something and give up without trying. It is sad for me.
After I got fire Coi, I had a couple good job offers in SF bay area. But I decided to leave the U.S. and went to Asia for my job-hunting. I know what it take to find "right" job and how difficult it is, especially in oversea. But I didn't want to give up something I want without trying. I wanna work around the world, plain simple desire as a chef and one human. After I left Amber, I was same, I had no hesitation to go to Europe for job hunting. It is like don't think, just wing it. Now or never, no regret in the future.
SInce I left RM seafood and left the U.S. on Aug 1st 2010, I've been nearly 20 countries, spent nearly 20000 bucks for all this journey and I'm going to where I left off to find my answer I've been looking for. Wasting time? Throwing money? Total loser? Miserable failure? Yes, that is all the truth. I failed my mission.
...... BUT I have kind of strange satisfaction right now... guess simply because I live honestly, push myself, no faking, no bargain myself and I keep what I believe last nearly 2 years. And I believe those last 2 years never turn into wasting time when I look back in the future, I learn many things as a man and also as a chef. So.... I'm brutally depressed, but I'll keep my head up and fly to the U.S. tomorrow.
At this moment I have one stage set up and that is the sole place I sent my CV. I have little story behind this, but hopefully I can post about it soon... which mean I find my answer I've been looking for last 2 yrs!!! U.S.A. the land where I was born, the land where I learn cooking, the land where the freedom alive.... here I come!!